Praise, Pre-Calc, and Parenting: This week’s learning curve.
My wins and mistakes in parenting this week and other resources to support student success.
Win of the week:
Real homework has started at my house this week. For my 5th grader, that means I need to be ready for a lot of questions between 3-4 pm. I've started doing something that seems to be working: asking her to take a guess before I answer. About 80% of the time, she's got it but was lacking confidence or patience. The other 20%, it’s more about comprehension than confidence. Working it as a breezy, “take a guess” stance lowers the stakes just enough for her to actually try. The environment of “unanxious expectation” is the one we’re going for to nurture productive struggle. From there, it can get a little dicey as she both wants me to magically cure the discomfort of confusion and also doesn't want me involved at all. Fun! Fortunately, the "take a guess" approach cuts down on the number of times I wade into those fraught tween moments unnecessarily.
Mistake of the week:
On the flip side, I made a misstep with my son. He came home with the highest score on a Pre-Calc test, and I immediately celebrated the grade. And then internally kicked myself. Praising the grade instead of the effort can lead to a fixed mindset, academic anxiety, and low resilience. I know this. I’ve done the hard work of undoing that message with countless burnt-out and anxious students so they could start taking effective action toward academic recovery. I’ve looked at the convincing research and written about how to change that message. But, still it was so instinctual to issue the verbal equivalent of a gold star in exchange for a number grade. When I asked him what he did to earn the grade in order to recover, he said, “not much. I already know this stuff from last year.” So, I effectively praised him for not having to work that hard. Oops. After that, the moment had passed and his capacity for talking about school with his mom had reached its limit, so I wore out my chances for a do-over. Luckily, we have many more months of school ahead for me to balance the scale.
On my blog this week:
If you're interested in what else to emphasize instead of grades, check out my three-part series on "Raising a C Student." The exciting conclusion will be out next week! In the meantime, catch up on the first two parts (links provided).
Raising a C Student - Part 1
Raising a C Student - Part 2
Also, don't miss my free 5-day student inspiration challenge – a subscriber-only bonus and a quick, fun way to boost student effort in just 5 minutes a day. If you subscribe, you’ll get the link in your welcome email. If you’re already subscribed, check your welcome email to find your link.
5-day Student Inspiration Challenge
On someone else’s blog this week:
I recently enjoyed Natalie Wexler's post about supporting reading in later grades. As a former inclusion teacher and learning specialist, I found it encouraging to see more attention given to finding age-appropriate, content-rich reading material for adolescents needing extra support.
Whether you're a parent, educator, academic coach, or anyone else interested in supporting student success by combining the study of joy with the science of learning, I hope you find this newsletter helpful. You can support me in continuing to share stories and actionable research that inspire student success by subscribing and sharing the link below.
https://seriouslyplayful.substack.com/about
With love,
Tricia
P.S. We are wired to play for our survival. Wishing you some (or many) bright spots of fun and play this week!
P.P.S. To that end, if you are into my pretty dorky version of fun, check out these monkey orchids and other flowers that look like other actual objects in nature. (Just don’t buy the monkey orchids, they are an endangered due to over-consupmtion).